mommy style monday: what i wish i knew

i've been a mother for three years and counting and there are so many things i still don't know.  each day as my kids grow older i am thrown a curve ball and constantly learning and changing.  motherhood is quite the adventure.  

today i'm linking up with kiana & madeline to share some things i wish i knew about being a mom.

1// of course, i knew how my sweet little babes would enter the world, but i did not know about the whole recovery process.  the giant pads, ice packs, tucks, numbing spray, and those awesome mesh undies... i had no idea.  i quickly learned that they were life savers and how much i would appreciate them. haha lucky for me, both of my recoveries were quick and relatively easy.

2// everyone has an opinion and they all want to share it with you.

this is not a bad thing at all, but it can become extremely overwhelming.  people tend to think they know best and i wish i would've known sooner that what works for one momma/baby may not work for me.  i have learned to trust my momma instincts, ask for help or advice when i need it, and in the end do what i think is best for my kids.  i once heard a saying regarding motherhood, "good for you, not for me."  and i like that.

3// not all children are the same.  i know that sounds obvious, but after having my second i quickly learned that she had a much different personality than my first.  brooks liked to be swaddled and held, remi preferred to sleep sprawled out and slept better on her own.  brooks was obsessed with nursing, and wouldn't take bottles or binkies, while remi was (and still is) binky obsessed and preferred bottles to nursing. i spent so much time in the beginning trying to do the same things i did that worked for brooks, with remi only to end up frustrated because they didn't always make her happy.  once i realized that i didn't have cookie cutter babies, my life became a whole lot easier.

4// it's okay and quite necessary to take breaks from your kiddos.  it's good for you and it's good for them.  i used to feel so guilty leaving my kids, especially when they were newborns or infants.  i would spend my time away worrying and stressing and not fully enjoying my time away.  i'll be honest, now that they are older (3 and 1 1/2)  i quite enjoy running to the store alone, girls nights, or having a date with my husband sans kids. haha in fact, it's essential for my well being.  i wish i would have realized sooner that it's okay to leave your kids and have a break.  in the end, you just miss, love, and appreciate them more so it's a win/win really.

5// sometimes you can't do it all, and that's okay.  there are times when i really rock at the whole mother/wife combo.  my house is clean, dinner is cooked, my kids didn't watch more tv than they should, we played outside together, did something educational, blah, blah, blah... Then there are times that i feel like i'm drowning in mom/wife duties.  the dishes are piled high, i've washed the same load of laundry 3 times because i keep forgetting to put it in the dryer, my house is a mess, my kids look homeless, they haven't eaten anything decent, and i've looked at my phone way too much.  i used to feel like i had to have it all together, all of the time.  now i know, that it's not always realistic.  it's okay if my house is a mess, because it means that we've played hard.  it's okay if we eat cereal for dinner, because my kids love cereal and it makes them happy.

the last thing i wish i would have known from the very beginning is that i am not a perfect mother, and neither is the mother next to me, or the mother next to her.  as a mom, you will be judged, and you will probably judge others, but in the end, we are all trying to do what's best for our babies.  i feel like with social media these days it is so easy to get caught up in looking like you have it all together and feeling guilty or jealous or like a failure if you don't.  i wish that all mothers knew that they are rockstars and that we could all cheer each other on all the time, because let's face it.  it is not always easy, and it is not always fun, but it is always worth it.

it makes my heart happy.

check out the ladies below to see what they wished they had known.

Kiana at Glitter & Donuts

Madeline at CaseyLand

Monica at It's All About

Erica at Good Job Momma

Beverly at What a Day

Justine at Little Dove

Amy at Harris Inc.

Bekah at These Are The Days