{party of five}

in case you didn't know, our little family of four is soon to be a party of five!!!

in january, we found out we were adding a little baby cakes to the harris party.  it was kind of a surprise, but after the shock of it all we were and are very excited :)

i'm kind of a weirdo and like to wait forever to tell people, including our families... it's just how i roll.  i get pretty sick during pregnancy and feel miserable a lot of the time, so i feel like it goes by faster when people don't know and aren't always asking about it.  (although, i do appreciate that people are concerned and that they care.)

i first went to the doctor when i was 11 weeks pregnant and the ultra sound tech asked if we wanted to know what we were having.  both matt and i can't handle not knowing, so we of course said yes!  she told us that she was 90% sure it was a boy even though it was SO early.  in fact, she asked if she could do a trans-vag ultra sound to investigate more and once again, it totally looked like it was a boy.  

right then and there in the ultra sound brooks decided that this baby boy would be named cosmo. (he has a little obsession with BYU and cosmo the cougar.)  the ultra sound tech told us not to announce it was a boy or go buy all the boy things just yet, but she was pretty dang sure it was a he.  from that day forth, we have been calling our little babe cosmo.

we went back in at 16 weeks for the official gender check and within 30 seconds she said, "yep, he is all boy!!" and we were stoked.

brooks asks about baby cosmo every day.  when he will come out, if he can talk yet, what he eats, can he say hi to him, etc.  it's pretty cute.  i think brooks is going to have a rude awakening when he finds out that we aren't actually going to be naming him cosmo. haha whenever we talk about any names (boy names are HARD... we've got nothing!)  brooks gets so mad and says, "no, it's cosmo!"

remi is still pretty clueless as to what's going on.

like i said, i've been pretty sick with this little one, especially the first trimester.  i wanted to say it was a boy from the beginning because my sickness was so comparable to when i was pregnant with brooks, but i know it really has no correspondence. luckily, it's been about two weeks since i've thrown up so i think it may be coming to an end.  i still feel sick throughout the day and have a hard time eating because everything sounds like death, but i'd rather feel like poo than throwing up all the time.

also, my fantastic sister in law, trina,  was kind enough to take some pictures of me to help announce the pregnancy.  could you die over this dress (similar here & here)?!  pink blush maternity has so many options and i pretty much want everything.  i LOVE that this dress can be worn pre-pregnancy, during pregnancy, and post pregnancy while nursing.  i am totally a dress girl, so any dress that works for nursing is a win in my book.

we are so excited to see our family grow and feel very blessed.  little cosmo is already so loved and we can't wait for his arrival.

almost half way done, woot woot!

how she got her name.

it's kind of a funny story on how we decided on the name remi.

we went to the hospital knowing that her middle name would be jayne, but undecided about her first name.  jayne has no significance to us and is not a family name, we just think it's cute.

when we got to the hospital i told matt to write our two options on the board. 

remi jayne

& 

harper jayne

we told our nurse how we were undecided and she brought in a huge book of names for us to look through juuuuust in case we wanted more options.

matt's choice was always remi.  when he was on his mission in tacoma, washington, there was a sister serving with him who had the first name remmy.  he suggested it long ago and i said it could be in the running but i would spell it "remi."  to say he was stoked that i would even consider it was an understatement :) haha

my first choice was harper but it is becoming quite popular and that was a turn off for me.  a week or two before giving birth, i was starting to get on the remi train but i couldn't admit it to matt because i didn't want him to win... hahaha for reals though.

anyway, we passed the time reading funny names in the name book, but not adding anything to the list.  we decided that once she was born, we would choose a name.

well she came and she didn't immediately strike us as one name or the other.  at one point matt said, "if you want to do harper, let's do harper." and i'm pretty sure i said the same thing to him about remi.  when all of the first visitors had left and we were alone, we were both leaning towards remi.

our nurse came in to check on us and asked if we had decided on a name.  we told her we were thinking remi, but not yet 100%.

as more people came to visit, matt asked me if we should announce that her name was remi and i said not yet, i still wasn't ready to commit.

a little while later, we took our baby girl into the nursery to get her first bath and as we walked in the nurse said, 

"is this baby remi?"

and she turns around holding a sign that she had made for her hospital bassinet.

matt and i looked at eachother and said, "sure! this is remi."

and that is how we decided.  the nursery nurse decided for us.

we told her we were undecided up until that point and she assured us that we could change the name and she could make a new sign, but we stuck with remi.

and i'm sure glad we did.  she is totally a remi.

also, we were so lucky to have our sister in law Trina come later in the afternoon and take some lifestyle photos after our little princess had her bath.  i'm so lucky to have so many photographers around me that take our pictures.

and you are all so lucky to see all 100940348 that i post all the time :)

remi's birth story video

i love that i have these videos to look back on.  they are so precious to me and i will forever be indebted to tregani for capturing these sweet moments and putting this together for me.

i love my little family of four :)

birth story here

remi jayne: a birth story

on october 7th at 12:39pm little miss remi jayne entered this world.

here is how it all went down.

on september 29th (39 weeks preggo), i went into the dr's to get checked... pretty much expecting to be told i was having this baby.  unfortunately, it was not happening.  i was not dilated at all and i had a hard time hearing that.  my doctor stripped my membranes and sent me on my way.

not going to lie, there were a few tears shed on the way home, but i came to terms with it and figured it was better for her to come when she was ready.

the plan was to be induced on october 2nd, but since i wasn't dilated, that wasn't happening.  that day rolled around and it happened to be the worst day ever.  i secretly hoped that i would go into labor that day, but i did not... instead i shattered my iphone. boo.

every day and every night matt and i would keep thinking "this is the day."  really though, i wasn't having any contractions and i didn't feel any different, except for the fact that i was SO ready to be done being pregnant.

october 5th, her due date rolled around and nothing.

october 6th we went in for an appointment and i was SO nervous.  i told matt that if the doctor said anything other than when do you want to have this baby, that i would probably go postal or start sobbing uncontrollably.  i almost started crying as we sat in the room waiting for the doctor to come in because i was so nervous (and pregnant hormones..duh.)

i think the Lord knew i couldn't wait any longer, because the doc came in, checked me, and then said, "do you want to have this baby on tuesday or thursday?"

the thing i love about being induced is that i have time to plan everything out, pack everything, clean, and i don't feel rushed or stressed.  we were able to go home, snuggle brooks one last time as an only child, and enjoy our last night.  i was even able to sleep :)

we checked into the hospital about 7AM.

everything went rather smooth, we went to our room, met our nurse (who both matt and i's families happened to know, which was a lot of fun and a blessing), and got the process started.

the absolute worst part of my whole labor and delivery experience was getting an IV.  i literally hate it so bad and have the worst luck.  every time i have ever gotten an IV, it takes two times before it works... and this time was no different.  

when i checked into the hospital, i was dilated to a 3 and having contractions but i actually couldn't really feel anything other than tightness of the belly.  i didn't really even know i was having them.

at about 8:30 AM, my doctor came in to break my water.  

fifteen minutes later mr epidural man came in and made me one happy woman haha.

i was telling him about my experience with brooks and how my epidural didn't really work and he assured me that he wouldn't let that happen this time.

once my epidural started to kick in, we just hung out and relaxed for about an hour and a half.  i kept falling in and out of sleep.  a little while later, i started to feel my contractions and i thought, "oh no, it's not going to work again."  i pressed the button for more medicine and then called my nurse.  i told her how last time this happened i was ready to deliver and they wouldn't give me more epidural medicine.  she checked me, and sure enough i was at a ten.

the nurse called the doctor and he said to send the epidural man back in to make me as comfortable as possible, he wanted me to rest and descend while he delivered a baby next door, and then he would come in and we would start pushing.

epidural man came in at about noon and gave me the goods and i seriously couldn't feel a thing.  with brooks, i felt SO MUCH pressure but with baby girl i felt nothing.  my nurse, being the doll that she is, told the doctor i was uncomfortable and he bumped me up above the other deliveries.  she told me that he was coming to deliver within the next ten minutes or so.

holy crap.  

we quickly called our parents and my friend tregani who was going to take pictures and told them to get there quick.  i had planned on only matt and i being in the room (with treg taking pictures), but my mom was there and i decided she could stay too. my sister and brother in law were out in the hall waiting.

the doctor came in at about 12:25 and said, "let's do this."

i honestly did not even feel like i needed to push.  it was so different than my labor with brooks.  as i began to push, i see treg make a B line for the door.  i really thought she got a phone call or something, but i didn't think much of it because i was in the middle of pushing.

turns out she got really light headed and went out to get some air.  some nurses saw her sitting on the floor and because of hospital procedures they made her go lay in a bed and asked her all sorts of questions.

meanwhile, i pushed for two sets of three and at 12:39, sweet little remi jayne came into this world.

i couldn't have asked for a better delivery.  it literally lasted ten minutes and i didn't feel a thing.  i was so relaxed and able to enjoy the moment.  i even watched as she was coming out (which i didn't think i ever would.)

as dr.judd is holding my sweet little baby in the air, some random person comes in carrying treg's camera saying, "your photographer fainted and she wants someone to take pictures."

she didn't really faint. she just got light headed because a death migraine was soon to follow.  luckily, between my mom and matt, they were able to get some precious pictures and video of baby girls first moments in the world.  shortly after, treg came back and captured all sorts of magical moments.

after this sweet baby girl came into this world, she was so awake and alert for hours.  her sweet little spirit just filled the room and she instantly brought a calming, peaceful feeling.  thinking about that day makes my heart so full and so happy.  when matt and i were alone with little remi, i looked at him and couldn't stop saying how lucky we are for two healthy babies and a flawless delivery.

i feel so incredibly blessed to be a mother.

i couldn't love this precious little girl anymore than i do.  she literally makes my heart melt.  seeing matt and brooks with her pretty much kills me.  she's our little princess and we love her so much.

birth video here