2.14.2012

love story.

happy valentines day.


in honor of the day,
i thought i would share my love story.
but i've tried to write it 10328944534 times and there is no short version. it seriously could be a short novel.
so instead, i will share a letter to my love...
(which also turned out to be a short novel haha)

dear matthew,
i should have known from day one that you were the boy for me.
when you first said, "i love you" and i just smiled and said nothing back, you didn't care.
when everyone told you that you were stupid for falling for me, you didn't listen, but continued to follow your heart.
when i cried about another boy, you were there to hold me and tell me it would be okay.
for so long, i didn't think i felt the same way about you as you did about me.
as time went on, my feelings for you grew stronger, but i think i even played them down to myself.
i didn't want to love you, but i didn't want to hurt you either.
our relationship was never easy.
i put you in a situation where you were always my second choice.
even though it was hard on you, and people gave you a lot of crap, you said i was worth it.
the more time we spent together, the harder it became.
i didn't think it was possible to love two people at the same time, but it started to happen.
we had so many good times, made so many good memories, and became best friends.
then you left for college.
we said we would date other people, because we knew eventually my number one love would come home.
but we never dated other people. you came home every weekend and our relationship grew.
one day, out of nowhere, i got scared.
nate was coming home from his mission and i needed to be ready.
i broke your heart.
i told you i didn't love you, i didn't want to be with you, and to leave me alone.
that was hard, because you were best friends with my brother.
we saw each other all the time.
sometimes things were weird, sometimes things were not.
soon, nate came home.
i was so excited, but in the back of my head i was sad we weren't close anymore.
nate was not happy about our relationship.
it caused many problems between us, yet still when i would come home late at night and you were hanging out with my brother, you would come find me and listen to me cry about nate.
you started kissing other girls.
i got super jealous. but i couldn't be jealous because i was with nate.
nate and i were talking about marriage, but we couldn't move forward because he could see my feelings for you, even when i couldn't see them myself, he knew.
i begged for your love.
i threw myself on your floor and cried for hours begging you to take me back.
you told me you were over me, told me that i was supposed to be with nate, told me to go home.
i was crushed.
nate and i continued to try to work things out.
and then one day, you came to my door and you begged me to take you back.
i said no. i said i was over you. i said you broke my heart.
we had a rough patch.
we didn't talk for awhile, and then one day everything was fine.
we were friends again.
so many things happened in a few short months. nate and i ended for good. i started making poor choices. you were preparing for your mission. we fought like crazy.
i felt like you were judging me for the choices i was making. really you were trying to help.
there were times when i thought our friendship wouldn't make it.
but then there was that one night, you know the night.
we picked my sister up from the side of the road and drove her to payson.
on the way home we started talking about our relationship.
i was finally able to admit that i loved you, that all this time i wanted to be with you.
we cried, and cried, and cried.
for months we could have been together happy, but instead we fought, and did stupid things to each other.
finally when we realized we could be together, it was too late.
you were leaving on the mission in two weeks.
we decided to make the best of it.
it was the best two weeks, we spent every moment together.
we were happy, we are happy.
we have been through so much together, and we have come out on top.
together we have learned the importance of patience, honesty, trust, forgiveness, and communication.
you make me want to be a better person.
you make me feel special.
there was a reason that our relationship took the path it did, the things we learned and went through have only made us stronger.
i love you matthew brooks harris. i have loved you for a long time.
you make my heart happy, and you are the boy i want to spend eternity with.
thank you for never giving up on me, thank you for following your heart, and thank you for taking a chance on me.
i love you forever.
be mine?
our first valentine's day together, 2008
yeah i was sporting a nice turtle neck...don't judge :)

also, i hope all my readers have a great valentine's day!  just know that you are loved.
happy love day <3
love,
amyLynn

5 comments:

Valerie Griffin said...

Happy Vday, Amy!

Tregani Lanham said...

don't worry that i just got teary eyed reading this...I can't wait for Matt to come home. 2 months!

rachel. said...

i never remember a turtle necked amy!
love.

rachel. said...

also this is perfect.

Alyx said...

Awww, this is such a perfect post. I love how your relationship has evolved! So sweet!
And now he's almost home! :)